


Do You Love Him?

by oracles



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Season 2 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 04:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12548516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oracles/pseuds/oracles
Summary: Who would have ever thought that a one Miss Rachel Berry could be so selfless? Who could have imagined she would ever do anything for someone besides herself? Sam didn't think she was capable of such things until she was the only person who tried to help.





	Do You Love Him?

"This is the guys' bathroom, Rachel."

The girl had followed Sam in, making sure to close the door behind her. She stood before him, arms crossed in a truly "Rachel" manner.

"I'm perfectly aware of that by the odor alone, thank you. I wanted to talk to you, actually." She looked uncomfortable, but the silence that followed was final, and Sam knew he wasn't leaving the boy's room without hearing what she had to say.

"This can't wait until after…?"

"No."

"Alright then," Sam almost sighed. He and Rachel had never talked much before, and now they were having a conversation on one of the many unhygienic bathrooms in McKinley High School. Sam leaned against a sink, looking at the self proclaimed star with an amused expression. Something told him it wasn't going to be light, everyday conversation. She was silent for a few more moments, clearly trying to formulate what she had to say.

"Look, if you're here to talk about Finn or glee club or a new solo idea for yourself, I'm really not the one to talk to."

Rachel smiled, looking affectionately at Sam. She could have spent hours talking about the given topics, especially the latter. It was endearing how well Sam knew her after just a few months.

"No, and although those topics are certainly important and we can discuss them at a later date of my choosing, I wanted to talk to you about something else altogether." As she said this, she moved slightly closer to Sam, making the boy even more uncomfortable than he already was. Having your first one on one conversation with the drama queen in the boys' bathroom did that to you. A million different things sped through Sam's mind, all possibilities of the awkward conversation to come. The blonde shrugged off the impending doom he felt and decided to diffuse the tension the best way he knew how: with humor. Sam raised his eyebrows in mock-surprise.

"You mean _the_ Rachel Berry wants to talk to _me_ , the measly Sam Evans, about something other than herself? I am genuinely shocked," He said through a smirk, "but I am flattered you would consider letting me grace your presence."

"Alright, listen here Goldilocks," She began, as Sam winced at the cliché nickname. He had gotten it so many times since he bleached his hair with lemon juice before transferring to McKinley. "I am capable of having concern for others beside myself. Granted, I do spend a lot of time being a self absorbed drama queen,"

"Did you forget you have an ulterior motive to every kind thing you do?" Sam was smiling now. Sure, they hadn't known each other all that well, but the boy had fun pointing out her clearly obvious flaws.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that because I'm currently trying to follow my therapist's instructions and spend time helping others without personal benefit, and your comments are making me want to punch you in the throat." She said through gritted teeth. Sam could only imagine the girl try and reach that high, considering she could barely see over the desks at the school. He chuckled, moving from his post at the sink to the middle of the small room. The height difference was titanic, and Rachel just sighed.

"Alright, I'm sorry. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well… It's about you. And Kurt. And your relationship at the moment."

A small smile flickered on the boy's lips, before he put on a look of indifference.

"What about me and Kurt?"

"Kurt and me," She corrected.

"Rachel, I'm dyslexic. The only language I can speak fluently is Na'vi. What about the two of us?" Sam looked uncomfortable now, knowing that Rachel knew his feelings for the boy in question.

"I really don't know how to say this but here goes…" Her voice trailed off; before she began speaking so fast Sam could barely keep up. "You've been acting so different since he left. I know we don't know each other that well but even I've noticed how different you are. You used to be… well, you. Nerdier. When's the last time you watched Avatar?"

"A few weeks, maybe a month or so." Sam sighed, knowing she was right. Ever since Kurt had left, Sam hadn't been acting like the same person he was when he first met the brunette. Watching Avatar used to be an every night thing for Sam, and after Kurt transferred it left him in a funk.

"See?" She asked, exasperated. "You aren't yourself, and it started when Kurt left. I think it's because of him." Her voice was so demanding, and he only stood there, looking down awkwardly. Of course she was right. Ever since Kurt transferred to Dalton, Sam was not the same person he had been when the boys had first met. He was not the same boy who loved Avatar, who spent the majority of his time reenacting it with his action figures, and who spent every night poring over his comic book collection. He was now obsessed with becoming popular, with being the stereotypical high school quarterback. He had dropped the old quirks and habits that made him the uniquely charming Sam Evans.

"It's not Kurt." He lied almost too easily. "It's Quinn, and the football team and —"

"Give it up Sam. You abandoned all individuality once Kurt left. You didn't care what people thought of you before then. After he left, you sort of just shut down. After he left, you became just another Lima Loser."

"Where is all this coming from?" Sam felt so small at that moment. She had been absolutely spot on with everything she said.

"I've been there, trust me. I'm used to people trying to change me. They always want me to change who I am so I can just fit in and fade into the big picture. Take Finn. He's never been happy with who I am."

Sam looked into her eyes for the first time since she mentioned Kurt's name. Her brow was furrowed, and it looked like she was fighting back tears, but she was there and she was being more of a friend than anyone at McKinley had been for months.

"I'm not a bad person, you know." She spoke quietly. "I know I have my bad days, but I really do care about everyone. I even feel bad sometimes when I get all the solos in glee club and I know that people deserve them just as much as me but it seems like I want them so much more and nobody works harder for them and I just—"

"Rachel. I know you're a good person." He moved next to her, their shoulders touching. Or rather, her shoulder touching his bicep. She really was a hobbit. "And I know you work harder than anyone else in there. You don't have to explain anything to me. I know."

The drama queen smiled and wiped her eyes. "Thanks Sam."

"And you're right. I have been different lately. I miss myself." Rachel was immediately back to her strong-willed and imposing self when she heard those words.

"So, let's do something about it then, which brings us to part two of this conversation. Kurt."

Sam returned to feeling alone and uncomfortable.

"What about him, Rachel?"

"You know exactly what about him."

"I really don't."

"Sam, if you aren't going to be honest with me at least be honest with yourself."

Of course she knew, it wouldn't be like her not to.

"Finn told me about the duet you were supposed to sing together for the duets competition. Then he ended your partnership. He also told me that you seemed particularly excited to sing with Kurt and when he called it off, you seemed upset before teaming up with Quinn. And then the way you stood up for Kurt and when you and Karofsky got into that fight," She stopped abruptly after noticing the look on his face.

"That's just the thing. I didn't stand up for him. At least, not enough. I could have done more; I could have done something different. Karofsky gave him so much hell, and I tried to stop it for a while. I did as much as I thought I could. But I could have been so much stronger. Not only for Kurt, but for myself. Instead, I chose to stop. I gave up on helping Kurt when he really needed me." He closed his eyes.

"Quinn and I only started dating so we could become more popular. We both knew that. The ring meant nothing to either of us. I should have just told Kurt how I felt, or at least not try to hide it." He rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands before continuing. "But I saw how he was being treated and I couldn't live like that here. So I started dating Quinn and changing and I don't even know why I do it anymore, because I don't feel any better about myself." His tone grew more and more defeated as he went on. Rachel just stood in the boys' bathroom, looking at Sam. Her eyes teemed with sympathy.

"Do you love him?" The words rocked Sam to the core.

"Rachel, I'm not gay."

"That's not what I asked, Sam. I asked if you love him."

Sam sighed. In that incredibly simple action was all of the pent up feelings he had over the last few months. Ever since he met Kurt, Sam hadn't been the same. The way he felt about him was something he had never experienced before. He'd said it before, his relationship with Quinn was nothing more than using each other to climb back to the top of the McKinley food chain. And all that time he stood by and watched Kurt get harassed, he wished he could have been as strong as him.

"Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I originally posted this YEARS AGO on fanfiction.net, but I'm migrating everything over to AO3. I miss writing about Kurt and Sam so much :(


End file.
